Cover photo is the face I make every time someone asks me “So, What’s Next?”.
I am currently in a strange stage of life. I have a full-time job, and live a pretty consistent regular life (aside from the fact that I’m doing it in Australia obvs). I have done the traveling thing, and the making a new life for myself thing, and now I am in a bit of a lull. Australia isn’t really new and exciting, it’s actually become my new normal (which is a bit wild if you think about it). I am so happy here, but I can’t help but wonder what else I could be doing. (LIKE MOVING TO THE UK AHA).
I guess it’s a little bit weird, because it’s completely normal to live this life and want more. But is wanting more selfish? Is it wrong that I want new adventures and new excitement? Am I making a mistake in wanting to try something new, even though I am already happy? I guess these are some of the major questions I am struggling with these days.
What I do know for sure, is that I’m not ready to move home (this one is directed at you, WINTER). In February, I am going home for five weeks (may or may not die of hypothermia), and I am so excited for that time. I can’t wait to see my friends and family, my dog, and to eat all the foods I miss (talkin’ bout you Ritz Bitz Sandwiches). I am beyond excited to visit home (I have a round trip flight back to Brisbane, Aus). Not to move there. It’s going to be THE BEST, especially since it’ll have been a year and a half since I left! I am so interested to see how things have changed while I was gone, and if everyone things I have changed too.
When I go home, I also have to leave my current job due to visa limitations. SO big changes are coming, and guess what? I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I AM GOING TO DO WHEN I GET BACK! Fun times. I essentially am going to come back to Australia and have no job, and likely limited funds. I can get another bar job, or try and find another temp job (and hope I get lucky like last time) or maybe try a new city? Or should I move to another country? HAH I DON’T KNOW. My inner control freak is having a hard time with this situation haha.
Now for a bit of a change of pace…
What’s really interesting about all of this, is that I pictured it all going down so differently. I think much like going to a Christian University, I thought I would leave this experience with a strong relationship (or Marriage haha), a new sense of self, and a great determination towards a career path I’m going to love. I think part of me feels like I’ve let myself/others down for not doing this. Maybe it’s me, maybe it’s society, I don’t know. All I do know, is that it definitely hasn’t happened that way. I have had more failed relationships (seriously, almost comical at this point), and more public meltdowns than anticipated (basically a pro at these now)! I am working the same mundane job, and absolutely NO idea of what I want to do for a career, or how I’m going to figure it out. BUUUUT I am still so happy, and have very few regrets. I have people at home who have all those things I thought I wanted/needed to be happy, messaging me saying how great they think my life is (PSA, Instagram and real life are VERY different, but that’s a post for another day). So as much as it’s weird and different from expected, it’s still pretty great I’d say.
This blog post is a little different than most I guess. There’s a lot more self-reflection than I expected, and way less making fun of myself than usual haha. I guess this post is just to share that 1) I definitely do not have it all together, 2) I am absolutely winging it, 3) if you have any grand ideas of how to figure out what you should be doing career wise, please let me know because IT IS A REAL STRUGGLE, and 4) I am happy, and I will happily continue to live this life for the next while. For example, this is me at work smiling because even though I don’t love my job, I still have a loooot of reasons to be happy (oh man that was so much less cheesy in my head, but whatever).
SO I guess that’s it for now. Tune in next time for an aimless update on my life in Australia! Maybe it will be a little more humorous next time haha.